Obsidian Woman Meets Mountain Man

by Madelinn Schriver

A Historical Musical Play presented before The Presidents Tea to surprise our President, Rick Ahrens (When he figured out the play was about him, he stepped behind a tree)

— Actors —
Obsidian Woman: Marilyn Kerins dressed in the latest hiking outfit with every techie device.
Mountain Man: Donald Burton (our cook) in a red grizzly bear vest and appropriate .
Chorus: Chris Grandy, Glenn Gordon, David Gordon, BreeAnna Fallini, Carol Scherer.

(Play was shortened for the Bulletin.)

Narrator: At camp, we always have an accurate historical play. We would like to portray the mountain man in the correct way especially since we have a “real” mountain man (Chuck) in the audience. We want to show the mountain man with a hump rib for supper, spiting it with a stick over a fire. We want to show how their camp was bedlam with the quarreling, yelling, barking, baying, incessant cracking of rifles, hiccoughing, swearing. But what happens when a modern Mountain Man meets a modern Obsidian woman?

Obsidian Woman: I realized that I was lost and that my group was probably half a mile away. How I became lost in the first place was bad luck. As I was filling up my water supply with my filter, the group went ahead of me. (At this point, OW clumsily tried to use her compass & map, GPS, whistle, cell phone, and many other gadgets but nothing worked.) I stumbled upon a mountain man but at the time I didn’t know that he was one. I just thought that he was another hiker from a different group who was lost.

OW: Hello
Mountain Man: Hi
OW: My name is Marilyn and I’m a member of the Obsidians. What group are you hiking with?
MM: No group

Song: Strangers in the Night

OW: Why aren’t you carrying a pack and a water bladder with you?
MM: (Shows divining stick)

Song: When You Say Tomato, I say Tomato

OW: Did you hear that: I bet you can identify any bird: What was that one?
MM: Black bird.
OW: Oh, look at that lovely flower. What is it?
MM: Pink Flower
OW: What’s that bright star above us?
MM: North Star

Song: When You Wish Upon a Star

OW: Hey listen, I think I hear someone.
It sounds like my hiking group. I have to go.

Song: I Love To Go A Wandering

OW: Well, at least tell me your name and where I might see you again?
MM: Rick Ahrens, you, me at Pitch Fork Fondue. (takes off jacket to show Hawaiian shirt)
OW: I think we should have a Hawaiian Party (takes off some hiking clothes to show sarong)

They both do the hula dance.
Song: Aloha Oe:

Note: MM put a brightly colored Hawaiian shirt on Rick Ahrens who by this time came out from behind the tree. (If some of you remember at the Ruby Mountains Summer camp, there was an Hawaiian night to honor Rick. His favorite shirts are Hawaiian. The Pitchfork Fondue was a dinner held nightly in Pinedale Rodeo Grounds where each person cooked his/her steak in a “large” cauldron pot of hot oil.

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